i stink at blogging. let's just go ahead and get that out in the open and out of the way. okay? good!
now...for starters, we FINALLLLYYY got internet! it took mark's physical breakdown for him to realize how bad we needed internet. i mean daytime tv is horrible right? there's only so much sports center, csi, and criminal minds episodes you can watch. before you know it, you are paranoid and crazy. i'm guessing mark got bored being home with me every single day, so he finally suggested getting internet. i was so excited. i got right on the phone and called to have it set up!! so, now maybe i will get better at blogging...especially since i have allll this time!
as most of you know, my wonderful hubby has been down and out for about three weeks now. i must say these first 5 months of marriage has been interesting. i thought going into this marriage (me being the whiny, needy, hypochondriac person that i am) that mark would be the one taking care of me. welllll, little did i know that those roles would be reversed! a little over a month into our marriage, mark came down with some version of the flu/walking pneumonia. he was sick for like 2 weeks and he even had to cancel his surprise birthday trip he had planned for me. i forgave him, thinking that in a few weeks when he recovered that he could make it up to me! geeeeez! i was wrong. he got better, then he got sick again. this sickness lingered and lingered and lingered and lingered. what in the world was going on? just as he was starting to get over the most recent illness, he collapsed--literally, physically, mentally, emotionally. let me give you just a brief explanation of the things that led to this excruciating moment. mark had been having an issue with his lowerback/sciatic nerve on and off for a little over a year. he would have some weeks where he had a lot of pain, but it eventually went away. this time, for whatever reason, it did not. he was complaining about it almost 4 weeks ago. he went into work one morning and called me saying he could not hardly walk and that he was going to the doctor. thinking that they were going to be able to help, i didn't think much about it. by the time i got home from work, he was in so much pain. the next day, he couldn't walk. i had already scheduled a chiropractor appointment 2 weeks prior to this for the next day. i barely got him to the doctor and i was an emotional wreck. this strong man that i had married was in so much pain and i could not do anything about it. i was trying to hold back the tears, but it was so incredibly hard to watch. i was thinking, yeah i've had back pain and yeah at times it's hurt so much that there were tears shed, but dear lord, this was the worst thing i had ever seen. why in the world was this happening to mark? i felt so helpless. he was handling it sooooooo much better that how i would be handling it. i would have been begging for morphine, but he was praying and saying "i'm gonna get better, i'm gonna get better". must be a man thing!
anyways, needless to say mark has put me through it these last five months. i guess he figures if i will stay with him through this, then i will stay with him through anything..ha! people joke all the time saying "this is what that for better or worse means" and i always respond, "but i didn't put those words in my vows, so that's my way out, right??!!" i'm kidding. while i didn't put those exact words in my vows, i did promise him that i would stand by his side no matter what we may face together in this life. shew, i really should have taken this into account when i was writing my vows! kidding again, while i didn't think about this happening so early into it, i knew that when i married mark, that i was not ever leaving him, no matter what! like a movie i watched recently expressed, "divorce happens because you make it an option." WELL SAID! buttt, that's another topic for another day!
Peace, Love, and Cupcakes (my boo's favorite phrase!)
