thankful, thankful, thankful

so...it's been awhile. i know. not that anyone really keeps up with my blog except for maybe my hubby, but nevertheless. we do not have internet in our apartment, so unless i come to my parent's house or to mark's office, or use his iphone, i have no idea what is going on in the world. pretty sad i know. it gets aggravating, but as i was sitting there this week, i realized what a blessing it has been not to have internet over these past couple of months. i have been able to spend more time with the Father, which i fail to do often times. so many times i get busy with other things that i forget about the intimate relationship that God wants to have with His children. i am in no way saying that the internet prevents such a relationship from happening or that internet is bad. i have just realized over this period of time without having the internet that God has been teaching me to discipline myself and to help me get my priorities in check. i'm hoping that throughout this whole thing, that when we do FINALLY get internet that i will not put "playing on the computer" ahead of spending time with God. So, thank you Jesus for your blessings that don't feel like blessings at first!

I have so many things to be thankful for, so this might seem like a bunch of randomness, but I am just typing as it comes to my mind :) I'm thankful for my wonderful husband. I could go on and on about him. He is the best thing in this world. I am thankful for him each and every day and I try to make sure he knows it. I am a hypochondriac, like for real. I know some people say that they are, but I SERIOUSLY am. Just ask Mark or my family or my friends. I have flat-out panic attacks sometimes because I think I have some rare disease ALL the time. It messes with me. I have medical handbooks on hand at ALL times, I do the symptom checker on WebMD (another good reason why I don't have access to the internet!). It really isn't a good way to live. satan uses this for his advantage, I realize this. I say all of that to say this--Mark is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G, first of all, because he puts up with this on a regular basis, and also, because he always manages to calm me down. I love him for that. Sometimes, he just has to hold me and I feel a hundred times better. It's crazy. I knew I had a great man when I saw how he reacted to my occasional stressed-out meltdowns. In some ways we are complete opposites--for instance: he's a saver, i'm a spender ; he is outgoing, me-not so much; he can make it through an entire insanity workout, i can't seem to make it through the "warm-up"; he prefers sweets, i prefer fruits. The list goes on. But, I think we complement each other very well. I like to think of it as me balancing him out..ha! So, yeah, I have a great husband. He was a great friend and boyfriend, and now husband, and I hope father soon ( haha--I hope you are reading this Mark!) He loves me as Christ loves the Church and I am so thankful to experience that type of love. I'm overwhelmed.

I'm also thankful for my parents. They raised me well. I knew right from wrong all because they taught me. My mom has been my best friend and my dad has been my biggest supporter. He was always at every sporting event cheering me on, with the occasional "grunting" and "aggravated blows" (if you were around those sporting events or are around him now since my brother is playing, then ya know what I mean by that!! They've instilled in me some great values and I am thankful. They are a loving family. I knew I was loved, not only by their words, but also their actions. I'm so glad God entrusted them to be my parents. While I am thankful for my biological parents, I am also thankful for my in-laws or my "second-parents." They loved me and welcomed me in as if I were their own. They did a fantastic job at raising Mark and I am so blessed they did:) I'm truly blessed that they are a part of my life.

God has been so good to me!

Father,

I want to thank you for who you are. Thank you for always being there for me, even when I drift away at times. Thank you for loving me so much that You came to this horrible world and suffered a painful, excruciating death for someone as unworthy and undeserving as me. I can't even fathom why You would love me that much. Thank you for tearing the veil and making a way for me to receive Your grace and Your mercy. Thank you for blessing me with all that you have. Father, may I never take for granted all that you have given me. You are the giver of all things, so I would be wrong to not thank you for every single thing that I have. Help me to be thankful in each and every moment. I love you.

In Jesus name, Amen